To Daughters of maternal Schizophrenia,  

Most people believe schizophrenia to be an illness.  But technically is a disorder of the brain causing chemical imbalance, of which average age of onset for woman is early 20's, and known trigger is stress of childbirth.

Children born to schizophrenic mothers often bear great scars. 

While a mothers ability to impress stranger danger and fear of spiders upon their children is a no brainer,  the general public does not seem to understand how the often damaging influence of a schizophrenic parent carries no less power.  

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When society tells us to “pull up our big girl pants”, they cannot fathom confusion taught from birth to trust motherly love influenced by what can many times be the dark cunning of schizophrenia.  And the trauma this introduced to our lives.  With no "substance" like alcohol or drugs to blame (with support groups one can find in any city, any town), yet no less painful and damaging to children and families.  Like an "invisible terrorist" sneaking in and out of mothers who in todays society are still in primary charge of raising their children.  Without understanding the illness that our mothers fought, we may have absorbed her actions against us as "deserved"- growing up believing something was deeply wrong within ourselves.  Creating a litany of challenges in life thereafter, maybe even lives lived in survival mode.

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As daughters growing up with schizophrenic mothers, we form a bond of shared experiences.  Guttural understanding, nods of recognition and statements like, "That happened to you, too?"   We love our moms.  They were "sick", and just needed help.  We also needed help, support and guidance to understand that our mothers were ill... or if we we lucky enough to have been aware of a diagnosis , to better understand the illness itself.   To protect ourselves AND help our mothers.  With less fear, more understanding and compassion.  

 

“But the brilliance, the versatility of madness is akin to the resourcefulness of water seeping through, over, and around a dyke.  It requires the united front of many people to work against it.”

-   F. SCOTT FITZGERALD

 

More public awareness and resources are needed for the world to better understand the cause and effect of schizophrenic parental impact to children, and families.  Since mothers are still the primary caregivers in society, statistically, a schizophrenic mothers (versus fathers) illness bears a greater impact upon children.  Like peeling an onion, the topical layer is seen while damage to underlying layers can go overlooked.  And the disorder is given carte blanch to do its damage - demoralize, physically and / or emotionally harm in an ill parent who many times see their children through hateful delusion, and many times may see them, and/ or the world as a threat. 

Statistics of lower cognitive and security effects from infancy, absent identities, conditioned to believe they are deficient and deserving of abuse are real.  Lives children spend yearning for love they grew up believing they were not worthy of.  And blamed when trying to share or reach out for help.  These children grow into adults wearing shame of chaos they were forced to survive for years, decades, lifetimes.  And become passed to future generations. 

 

"Growing up with a schizophrenic mother" by Margaret Brown, couples scores of personal stories with medical studies, "adult offspring" carrying the damage - statistics of higher secondary psychiatric conditions like anxiety, depression, alcoholism, drug addiction, and suicide on one end.  To high resiliency by learned survival, still with social isolation, anxiety and spectrum levels of PTSD.   High sibling conflict beyond normal sibling rivalry in families shredded by the ingrained schizophrenia delusion of the primary ill parent.  

A  large statistic of adult children learn to distance themselves, even going into hiding by changing their names and addresses to protect themselves.  Ironically, and tragically, adding to the suffering of the ill parent who really just needed help and understanding.  And in cycle, resulting in guilt carried by children who spend a lifetime wishing they had understood more, as more understanding in itself always alters narrative. 

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Medical studies around children of schizophrenic parents show repeatedly that education, understanding and community can, and does make a difference. That clinician care for maternal  schizophrenia should include services for family, a life changing practice positively impacting both mother and child.   We hope to be a growing resource and link to personal experiences and medical studies that can lead to more awareness and healing.  And make a difference in the lives of children (both young and old) impacted by parental schizophrenia. 

 

Reach out, educate, connect and share. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. 

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